My Babysitter's a SUCK Vampire
by hellokittygirl123
Summary: Everybody knows how the My Babysitter's a Vampire the movie goes, but nobody doesn't know how My Babysitter's a SUCK Vampire goes. The parody of My Babysitter's a Vampire the movie.
1. Chapter 1

**My Babysitter's a SUCK Vampire**

**Summary: Everybody knows how the My Babysitter's a Vampire the movie goes, but nobody doesn't know how My Babysitter's a SUCK Vampire goes. The parody of My Babysitter's a Vampire.**

**A/N: Hi I got this random idea from my head and I thought it be awesome if there is a parody version of My Babysitter's a Vampire the movie. So yeah I hope you guys like it! I DON'T own My Babysitter's a Vampire just my ideas. And plus finally for the first time there's no P.O.V of somebody well a little, but still I hope you guys like it.**

At that night Ethan's sister Jane **(a/n: For the first fucking god damn time I remember her name.)** was watching TV. She heard something from outside.

"Hey Ethan do you hear that?" Ethan stills goof around with his friend. She sighed and get up.

"What a dumb ass." And left the house.

She went outside and saw a boy. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"What does it looks like?" He said. She sighed. He grabbed her toy and drops on the floor and hit it. She went after it then the boy magical disappears. She started to scream and her parents came. They saw her outside and called for Ethan. Ethan comes and wave.** (a/n: I forget the how the movie goes I'm going to watch it again if some things are weird and stuff it's the TV fault because the movie I record is fuck to the up so yeah.)**

**Ethan P.O.V**

Benny and I were walking in the hall. "What did your parents say?" I sighed.

"They are getting me a babysitter." He started to laugh.

"Shut up you dick face!" He sighed.

"I'm sorry it's just funny that a teenage gets a babysitter." I rolled my eyes.

"Look at the bright side at least you could ask one these chicks to babysit." I almost throw up in my mouth.

"How about guys?" He looked at me.

"What about them?" I sighed.

"Nothing Benny anyways there's Jesse the guy I been crushing on since I came to this school." He looked at me.

"Say what again?"

"I said Jesse the boy who's in drama." He rolled his eyes.

"Something about them are just hot I-I mean weird." He sighed.

"You're right something weird about them." I nodded. I sighed.

"They are so fine." Benny looked at me.

"They are so what?" I sighed.

"I say they are so weird." He rolled his eyes and walked away.

At lunch time we get our lunch. We saw Rory the cute guy waving at us. And then I was about to walk to the table until a fucking girl was my way. I put my food on her clothes. But I didn't mean it if I did I just walk off. She was shocked.

"You bitch!" She must be angry at me which I don't care.

"Sorry I didn't mean it." I said.

"Thank you so much you asshole!" And walk off.

"I say I was sorry bitch!" And walk to my table. Benny and Rory were in the table with me.

"Hey Ethan you should ask that hot girl over there!" He pointed to her.

"That girl who friends with that bitch no thanks. She isn't even hot. Plus she a vampire lover which it's weird." Benny sighed.

"Come on Ethan please?" I sighed. Benny got up and went to her. I was hiding myself from them. Then Benny returns to us.

"Way to go Ethan!" Rory said. I sighed.

'I wanted a boy to be my babysitter, well my sister's babysitter, but still I wanted a boy.' I thought.

"You welcome my friend." Benny said. I looked at him evil.

At night time I was with my sister and my parents was about to go as usual because they don't want take care of us.

"Ethan I'm going to the club ok?" I nodded.

"Mom I know that I wasn't looking after Jane and I'm sorry, so you could save your money and just leave."

"Now Ethan I'm not going to leave you alone until I could trust you ok?"

"Fuck you!" She looked at me.

"What did you say?"

"Um I say hola como esta (translate: Hello how are you?)?" My parents look at each other because they don't know Spanish.

"Komakai kansha (translate: Fine thanks.)" We all looked at her.

"What I know Japanese." We all nodded.

**A/N: Ok so I put Spanish and Japanese there so yeah. I know Spanish a little. And now I know a little Japanese thanks for the internet. So yeah until now Anata ga kore o kiniitte kureruto ii ndakedo I said I hope you like it in Japanese XD.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: XD I love Lady Gaga anyways I hope you guys like it! POKER FACE! –BREAKDANCES-**

**Sarah P.O.V**

Erica was alone waiting for me. She was about to leave until she saw me.

"Ah Sarah you scared me where you come from?" I looked back.

"Right there duh." I pointed to it. She nodded.

"Anyways I really need to tell you something."

"Yeah I mean you been avoiding me a lot what's up Sarah?" I sighed.

"It's just that Lady Gaga won't stop making music that makes cockroach comes."** (a/n: last night I was playing Lady Gaga and then a cockroach just appears I just like wtf?)** She nodded.

"Don't worry it happen to me too." I nodded. Then Jesse appears.

"Hey Sarah have you been avoiding me or you just being a bitch." I sighed.

"She had been avoiding people lately." I sighed again.

"Hey you should go to party it has Lady Gaga there." She smiled.

"Ok I will love to!" I was shocked.

"Don't go Erica it's going to be horribly." She looked at me.

"I decide to be bad like you." And she went with Jesse's boys.

"What do you want Jesse you already turned me to a Lady Gaga fan and I don't like Lady Gaga." He laughed.

"Yeah, but I do." I sighed.

"You're a vampire Sarah use it!" I rolled my eyes.

"No I'm not dick head!" I hit Jesse.

"Come on it's not bad to be a Lady Gaga fan." I kicked him. He got angry.

"YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT." He hit me to somebody's house. I ring the door. Somebody opened the door.

"Are you the babysitter?" I sighed.

"No she couldn't make so she called me." The lady nodded.

I went inside of the house.

**Ethan P.O.V**

I went downstairs and I saw this bitch. "Oh fuck no."

"Well look it's that dick head who dirty my shirt!" I sighed.

"I said I was sorry damn!" She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever fag." I got angry.

"Whatever homophobe." She rolled her eyes again.

"Ok then this is my number if you need me ok?" She nodded. I sighed.

"Ok bye everybody!" And my parents left. Then Benny came.

"Hey E-oh hello there." She rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Then go nobody cares." She sighed and went to the bathroom. I sighed.

"Why does this bitch have to be Jane's babysitter tonight?" He sighed.

"Because she hot duh." I rolled my eyes.

"Benny who cares if she hot or not she's annoying as hell. She thinks I mean to put that food on her." He nodded.

"Well you did….." I got angry.

"I didn't do anything that bitch was in my way ok?" He nodded.

"Why the fuck is she taking forever in the bathroom she taking a shit?"

"Sitting on the toilet, sitting on the toilet, sitting on the toilet um, sitting on the toilet ah, sitting on the toilet, sitting on the toilet, sitting on the toilet now flush." He was singing and I just laughed a little.

"I'm going to go check on her." I went to the bathroom. And I saw her I looked at the mirror and I didn't see her on the mirror.

"What do you want you can't have all of this." I closed the door and went to Benny.

"Benny I saw her, but I didn't see her on the mirror isn't that weird?"

"No Lady Gaga wasn't on the mirror because she dating a monster." I sighed.

"I'm serious Benny I didn't see her on the mirror!" She came out of the bathroom

"Do you guys really need a babysitter?" Benny nodded.

"No I don't. I don't need a bitch to babysit my sister." She rolled her eyes and left.

"We need her Ethan I need her to birth my kids." I looked at him.

"Ok then, but call your grandma we can't just leave my sister here." Benny's grandma came. Later we walked around to find Sarah. We both find her doing something.

"Um Ethan we should leave we should really leave." I looked at him.

"Let me see that." I looked at his camera. We saw Sarah eating rats. She saw us watching her. We started to scream and run away from her. Benny tripped like a dumb ass and I have to go and save him. Then we saw Sarah.

"Will you guys shut the fuck up and listen! It's not bad as it seen!"

"You're fucking vampire!"

"Ok so it's bad as it seen, but I'm just ordinary girl well I was until my stupid ass ex-boyfriend bite me." We nodded.

We went back to my house.

**A/N: Yeah I can't wait for the next chapter XD anyways I hope you guys like it! Oh and I remember Ethan said this: "You're freaking vampire!" yeah I change it XD. He knows he want curse XD, but since it's a kids show no cursing :( anyways enjoy.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Omg never trying to do that again. I force myself to read an M rating STRAIGHT story and I always die! Never try new things people! Now I'm scare of the word BOXER yes. But the good news is I read an M yaoi story that and I feel much better XD. No I don't read/watch too much yaoi stories/videos/ova/movies. I just scare of straight because it ruins my childhood! But whatever enjoy!**

**Ethan P.O.V**

"Ok you guys promise you won't let a vampire in your house, this is your only safely."

"We won't unless they hot like you." Benny said. We rolled our eyes. Sarah left out the house. We heard the door ring. Benny opened the door.

"Finally it took you long enough!" He grabbed the pizza box.

"It's going to taste so good free." The pizza man smiled at us.

"Yeah." He showed his fangs.

"Oh shit." We said. Sarah returns to save us. Benny throws the pizza on the pizza guy.

We ran to my room and locked the door.

"Have anyone told this that you're a really bad babysitter."

"This is my first time ok now help me instead just looking at Benny's ass." I looked at Benny's ass.

"Oh sorry what did you say?" She rolled her eyes.

"I find something!" He got my hockey stick.

"Not that somebody signed that!" Benny looked at it.

"Lady Gaga are you kidding me?" I rolled my eyes and grabbed the hockey stick. The pizza man busted my door. Sarah hits him with my trophy. We all ran out the house and went outside. Then we saw the pizza man and Sarah just got a wood and killed him.

"She may be a bad babysitter, but that was awesome!" Benny said. I just rolled my eyes. We went inside the house and Sarah left to get her friend. Then Rory calls us. Benny put it on speaker.

"What's up?" Rory said.

"What's up?" Benny said.

"I'm at this epic party!" I rolled my eyes.

"Rory are you drunk or you just in chess club?" I asked.

"No I'm really in a party check this chick out with this guy." He sends this picture of a girl, but we didn't see a guy.

"And plus there's going to desert after this party!" I sighed.

"Well I got to go." Rory hang up. We sighed.

"We need to save Rory or else Rory going to be eaten and then I never get to fuck him again." Benny looked at me.

"You guys have sex before?" I looked at him.

"We better go now." After that Benny asked his grandma to drive her car and she say yes.

I was driving looking for Sarah so I could go to the party and save my Rory. I saw Sarah walking slow as hell.

"Um excuse me do you know where we could find a party around here?" She smiled.

"I'm going crazy because I got bitten and you guys?"

"We are going to the party to save our friend." She nodded.

She drives us to the party and all I heard is Lady Gaga.

"Wow he wasn't kidding he was going put Lady Gaga songs in his party." Sarah said.

"Stay here I be back ok?"

"No way we want go too!"

"Just stay in the car you be safe in here."

"But we want to…" She showed her fangs.

"Got it geez." She looked at Benny.

"I'm cool being with a guy in the car alone." She left.

Later we got bored as hell. Benny sighed.

"This is so boring dude. We should go inside of the party what if a vampire comes and think us fucking in the car?"

"Then they are going to think to that because I don't care." Benny sighed.

"Did what I say make you hard?" I blush a little.

"A little." He rolled his eyes.

"Come on Ethan we have to save Rory." I nodded and get out the car. We went to the party hiding from the blushes.

"Dude if you think us in the car together looks gay then look at this." He sighed.

"Be quiet I trying to video tape hot vampire chicks." I sighed.

"And trying to find a hot, sexy boyfriend I guess we in the same page." Benny looked at me.

"What?" I sighed.

We fall of the blushes together and a vampire guy saw us.

"Um we have to use to bathroom you know." I sighed. Benny really must not hear himself good.

"You guys use the bathroom together?" Benny was shocked. I almost laugh.

"Dude that is gay." The vampire guys left.

"Benny please think before you speak." Benny rolled his eyes. They were playing Benny's song.

"Oh my gosh this is my song!" I sighed.

"No Benny not now!" He sighed.

"Please just once!" I sighed.

"Fine for now." We started to dances.

_Can't read my,_

_Can't read my_

_No he can't read my poker face_

_(She's got to love nobody)_

_Can't read my_

_Can't read my_

_No he can't read my poker face_

_(She's got to love nobody)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

We stopped dancing.

"Ok where was we?" I asked.

"Oh save Rory." I nodded then we saw Rory.

"You guys totally came!" We nodded.

"Yeah we totally cum." Rory nodded.

"Look at this hickie!" We looked at it and that's no hickie.

"Um yeah anyways we need to get out here so follow us." I said.

"No way this party is the bomb!" We sighed.

"Come on Rory do you want die or not?" He sighed. We went inside of the house and went upstairs. We hide from them so they won't get caught. I saw Jesse the one I like and he was talking I'm not sure because I was daydream about him.

"Boring where's the band?" Benny shushes him.

Jesse stopped talking and we went downstairs as fast as we can. We try to escape, but it was lock.

"You're just in time for dinner."

"Sweet what are we having?" Benny hit his head.

"We are dinner!" I shouted.

"Oh." We rolled our eyes.

"Not them I'm babysitting them." I sighed.

"Wait you guys need a babysitter?"

"No he needs a babysitter." Benny pointed to me. I sighed. They start to laugh. They stopped laughing at me and push Rory.

"What are waiting for Sarah bite him." She sighed.

"I could do it." Erica bites Rory and then faint. I just laugh. Then we quickly left A.S.A.P (A- As, S- Soon, A- As, and P- Possible).

**A/N: Yeah I hope you guys like it! And I hope you guys break it down on Lady Gaga! –Breakdances-**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok let's get to the story I hope you guys like it! Yeah I don't really have much to say and for everybody who read my other story. Yeah I got use to my mess up computer screen so I going to continue doing stories like Wide Awake so yeah enjoy. Don't ask how I got used to it.**

**Ethan P.O.V**

I was at home reading a gay magazine. When my mom came hide the gay magazine and pretend I was reading a comic book. I showed my door I'm so glad it still alive. She told me something I don't remember because I was daydreaming Benny.

I was at school with Benny walking together like we were a gay couple and then we saw Rory.

''Guys what's up!" We were shocked that he was alive.

"Rory you alive you must be like Sarah now."

"Hell no I drink some blood!" We were shocked.

"How could you Rory you know kill us right?"

"Jesse told me if I don't do it I died so yeah." Jesse's crow came.

"Sorry I got to go to the church."

"Church I thought you don't like church."

"Jesse says we have to. He so bossy he always we have to find blah blah, and human animal's blah blah."

"Human animals what are you talking about?"

"Yeah anyways we hang out later or fang out." Rory walked away.

"Benny grab you boxers we going to the church." Benny gives me what the fuck face. **(a/n: on the movie he did have the what the fuck face.)**

**Normal P.O.V**

Benny went to inside of the church and gets some water he saw a man looking at him and he just walks away like he a gangster.

Benny came with Ethan alone with nobody else watching them what are they doing. Then she came. **(A/N: No I don't hate Sarah I just want make the story funny it's because it's a parody so yeah.)**

"I wonder what they doing." She said.

"You know you don't have to scare us like that."

"And you don't have to be an asshole like that." Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Rory said that they looking for the cube animals."

"Cube animals?" She put her hand on Ethan's shoulder.

"I think I just saw it. It was a box."

"A box like that?" She pointed. Then Benny accidently pour some water on Sarah.

"Ouch what the hell?" The vampires turned around. They were gone before they even saw them.

"So what's up with your vision they come with an update?"

"No they come up when you show up. I think it happens when we touch." I tried to touch her which I don't want to, but she moved her hand.

"Nice try, but it not going happen."

"Can't blame a guy without trying I think I have vision too." He tried to touch, but I hit his hand.

"Will it be easy if a dumb vampire just tell us?"

"Well I know somebody who will."

Ethan went back home with his parents and his sister at his room looking for gay porn. His mother knocked the door and opened. Ethan turned around and closes the window as fast as he can.

"Sorry I'm just put your laundry here." Ethan nodded. Then later that girl came.

"Hey I have that book that you ask." Ethan nodded.

"I guess I just leave you two alone." Ethan nodded. Ethan doesn't even like Sarah. Sarah sit down on chair sighed.

"What's up with you?"

"Oh nothing just really hungry." He nodded

"I have 20 days to drink human blood or my normal body dies."

"Oh really I did not know that." Ethan being sarcastic. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"This book may help believe or not." He nodded. She opened the book and Ethan touch her hand he was visioning what she was reading. **(A/N: I will love to put what she says if I remember the hell she says I got lost on one word. If they want put what the hell they did on that town at least make it interesting to remember!)**

"I just have a vision of it. Could I hold your hand?" She sighed.

"This is better not being one of your tricks again." He rolled my eyes.

"Fuck no why will I put a trick on a girl I don't even like girls!" She was shocked.

"Wait you're gay?" He nodded.

"Well that makes everything make sense now." I hold her hang and then I have a vision that on the book that looks like just like Jesse and it is Jesse.

"Ok in the book it's Jesse." She sighed.

"That's why 219 is the target!"

"Then we better go get him girl!" She looked at me with a smile.

"Ethan I know that you're gay, but you don't have to act gay." I rolled my eyes and flipped my hair. Then Rory came from the window and he was flying.

"Is it bird is it plane nope it's Rory!" We rolled our eyes. He tried to come in, but he fell.

"You have to be inviting to come in!"

"Jesse doesn't tell us shit. Could I come in?" Ethan nodded. Rory came in.

"Rory we need you help what Jesse is planning!"

"We find the lame old box, but Jesse happy so." His mother yells for dinner. Ethan pushed Rory out of the window and Sarah left.

Then Jesse, Erica and Jesse's crow came. And Sarah just has what the fuck face.

"What the hell happen to you?"

"You know the best thing that ever happens to me. It's not too late joining us and then we could be bffs again."

"Never in my life." Jesse laughs.

"Sarah you were replaces." Jesse kissed Erica.

"And Jesse sucks balls for morning Erica." They walked away

Benny and Ethan as usual look like they are gay couple on the laptop with Rory.

"Guys you won't believe all these books don't have any single girl on boy sex action."

"Come buddy forces you know you got a gay guy right here." Benny looked at Ethan.

"You're gay?" Ethan sighed.

"Ok I think I got something you looking for." **(A/N: Like I say I forget what they say.)** Then they went on this wannabe Twilight website. Ethan was shocked.

"We have to watch the wannabe Twilight." Benny sighed.

Later they practice for the big night Sarah was doing good and the rest was doing horrible. Ha just kidding they were great!

Then Ethan's annoying sister came.

"Hey Ethan what are you doing?" He sighed.

"Making magic."

"Benny and I are going to that wannabe Twilight movie. And no you can't go it pass your bed time." His mother came to watch her son and stuff.

"I'm listening make this good." He sighed.

"Everything you want."

"Wow this must be important."

"You have no idea."

"Ok give me 20 dollars." He sighed.

"Hoe" He mumbled. She left and he was glad that she left.

"Ok Jane we be back soon."

"If we don't get kill or rape by vampires." Sarah hits Benny's head.

"Anyways see you grandma." We was about to leave by Benny's grandma want give him something.

"If you going to be fighting those bloodsuckers we going to need these." She gives him a spell book.

"You're a spellmaster and Ethan is seer."

"Wait a seer?"

"Yeah you get vision do you? You get them around here."

"Here take my keys." They left. While they was in the car talking about Jesse and stuff. A special song came on the radio.

"Oh shit this is my song!"

"Oh no not again."

"Come on Ethan doesn't mean that we fighting vampires mean that we can't have fun in car on way to fight vampires." Ethan sighed.

"Fine for now." Then they started to sing.

_Can't read my,_

_Can't read my_

_No he can't read my poker face_

_(She's got to love nobody)_

_Can't read my_

_Can't read my_

_No he can't read my poker face_

_(She's got to love nobody)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

We stopped singing when we made it to the wannabe Twilight.

"This is it guys. The wannabe Twilight."

"Wow that's really lame."

"Just shut the fuck up and read your stupid magic book." Benny smiled.

"I think I know another way in." They went to the other side to go inside Ethan try to open it, but he too weak. So Sarah opened it.

"Do I have to do everything?" They rolled their eyes. They went inside. They were hiding from them hearing everything what they saying then they ran off. Ethan hide where he hide. And Benny was at the snack bar with this girl that all the fans want punch her RIGHT in the face. Even Ethan. Then they talk I don't what, but they talk. Then the girl got bit my Jesse. And then all the scary fans ran for the life which it was very funny! Everybody was fighting and it epic! Then Benny was fighting in the snack bar. He kissed the girl and guess what! Some crazy fan girl came.

"Benny is mine you bitch!" She got her sword and tries to kill the girl from snack bar. And Benny just runs for life. And Ethan met friend! Sadly he kills him. Anyways back to story! He saw Rory and told him to run off or he have to die and then all the Rory fans going to kill Ethan. Rory ran out somewhere other than here. Then Sarah kills somebody and Erica was fighting Sarah and then this dude came and throws party! Just kidding he ran up to her and she ran away from him which it was funny! Benny came and yells out freedom. Seriously? Anyways Ethan came somewhere to save Sarah he didn't want to, but hey whatever. He thought it will be a nice thing to do. Then some crazy Benny fans beat the dude up that he die! Then Ethan saves Benny because Benny was knock the fuck out which it was sweet. Sarah walking slowly. Ethan put Benny on the car and kissed him on cheek no questions. And all the yaoi fans were giggling. But, hey won't blame them.

"I can't I'm so starving."

"Come on we can't do it without….."

"Just do it NOW." At the last part was the evil voice. Ethan put Benny on the car and Ethan drives away. Ethan was saying something really boring that I don't remember. Then Ethan remembers the place and went to his house.

"Ok Benny I'm going to call your grandma to come get you. We have four minutes to save the world. You did good ok? Love ya!" Ethan got off the car. And went to the tree. Ethan saw Jesse and he was happy that he was at his house. Remember he has a crush on Jesse? He says that on the first chapter. And Jesse says some really boring things.

"That's ok because you going their first midnight snack!" Ethan sighed.

"B-b-but what did I do? I didn't even have sex with no one because of you!" Jesse looked at him crazy because Ethan was crying.

"I love you Jesse!" Then Benny came with awesome thing he did! He went right next to his best friend and still looking like gay couple no matter what. Then Sarah came I don't where, but she just bomb there it is! Then Ethan grabbed the box and Jesse was choking her. But did Ethan care? No he's gay he don't care.

"Got you dick in the box!" Ethan said. Reminds me a song. Anyways back I was saying.

"And got your babysitter!"

"Ok she's really Jane's babysitter."

"Give me the box now and I will be yours." He looked.

"Really?" He nodded.

"Just give to him what he going to do with them EBay it?" **(A/N: I HAVE to put that line on there I just HAVE to.)** Don't use EBay they give us some cheap things and they end up dead.

"Give me now or your babysitter is going end up dead!"

"Ethan don't!" That what she said.

'What should I do should I give to Jesse and then we get marry and happy ever after? Or should I just open it and save the world without my dream guy and may get kiss by a girl which that's gross.' He was still thinking, he was about to give it to him, but accidently open it. Then he died in retard way. Which it was funny!

"I can't believe you dated this guy." Benny said.

"I can't believe Jesse and I are not going get marry." They looked at him.

Then the next day they was walking with each other then they saw Rory and Erica. Then Benny was talking too much.

"Shut the fuck up Benny!" They both said.

"Sorry." Then later they did a Chicken Little ending.

**THE END**

**A/N: Yeah I didn't feel like doing another chapter so I did the whole thing here I hope you guys like it! And now I'm going to do the show Season 1 here I'm come! Thanks for reading! I hope you have a great laugh!**


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